Hey kids, do you like cool adventure games like Legend of Zelda and Diablo? Do you like comedy? You should check out Dink Smallwood.

Dink Smallwood is an old freeware game (actually it’s been open sourced). The graphics are outdated, but the humor more than makes up for it.

Let me set this up for you. You, Dink Smallwood, desperately want to be a hero. Unfortunately, you are a pig farmer. You’re dropped into this boring life and eventually find the path to warrior-dom. That’s not the cool part. The cool part is the choices you can make. For instance, instead of feeding the pigs you can kill them. A neighbor is out looking for her pet duck. When you find it, you can yell at it to make it go home–or, you can kill it. Later on in the game, you get the option to tell a local girl that you killed it. LMNO. Your mom dies (totally not your fault…) and you go to live with your aunt and abusive uncle. If you try to stop the abuse, the get killed. If you learn how to exploit a little glitch, and kill him, well then you end up in charge, making passes at your aunt. (I just noticed all the funny stuff in this game involves killing. That’s what makes it so cool, in games like Diablo or Zelda you have a syrupy-sweet hero story, and you can never fuck shit up. Dink Smallwood lets you fuck shit up. In a good way.)

In most games like this, you end up hitting bookcases and the like while looking for hidden items. In this game, if you try that, Dink will shout things such as “Stupid bookcases”. The coolness wears off fast, but it is a nice touch.

I don’t want to give much more away. Seriously, if you like dark humor, killing ducks and using magic, Dink Smallwood is the game for you.

(BTW, I almost forgot, there are a lot of other “episodes” after you complete the game, lots of people have made their own stories and some of them are pretty good.)