Okay, I was just looking around in Steam for something to update programs, so I could let them update now when I’m working. I did see that I can disable automatic updates, but I can’t schedule it to check for updates. I also can’t seem to tell it to check for updates right now, which is too bad, because I know I won’t be playing any games for at least a few days. I’ll bet Team Fortress 2 and other similar online multiplayer games require you to be fully updated to even connect to their servers, which is best.

Lark

Steam is a program/network started by game developer Valve, wherein PC gamers can buy PC games, downloading them instead of getting a disk. It’s not just limited to Valve games. The greatest thing about Steam is that you can download any of the games you own to any of your computers, or even to a friends computer, if say you’re visiting for a few weeks. The games are tied to your login name and password, if you’re not logged in on the computer, those games can’t be played. It’s a straight forward DRM–you can only be logged in on one computer at one time, so instead of limiting the total number of computers you can install on, they let you install these games as many times as desired.

I’m a big fan of Steam, to the point where, if a game isn’t available on it, I may not buy it. In fact, I’m shying away from consoles for the most part. I’d rather spend money on games I can take with me and play on my laptop. Not like I’m playing games in restaurants or anything, but it’s nice for long trips and vacations.

There are some problems with Steam. I’ve written previously that my internet is slow, so downloading 8GB per game takes time. That’s a problem for downloading to install in the first place, and also a problem for when I want to play the game, and it automatically checks to see if the game needs to be updated, then starts updating. No, stupid! I want to play the game, not install updates! Why not download updates and install them once I’m done? Why not constantly check for updates, or set up a schedule, check for and install updates between 2am-8am? There are also issues with automatic updating in general. What if an update breaks something? Can I undo it? Probably not. Although I haven’t had that problem yet, it’s possible.

Once I switch to a much faster broadband carrier, it’ll be better, but even if it downloads lightening fast, I still have to wait for the updates to install. It is a good service, but I’m curious to see how it’ll improve or depreciate over time. And I’m also curious to see if the whole Kindle 1984 scandal will cause people to start looking at services like Steam and Zune Pass with a lot more skepticism.

Lark

Hey kids, do you like cool adventure games like Legend of Zelda and Diablo? Do you like comedy? You should check out Dink Smallwood.

Dink Smallwood is an old freeware game (actually it’s been open sourced). The graphics are outdated, but the humor more than makes up for it.

Let me set this up for you. You, Dink Smallwood, desperately want to be a hero. Unfortunately, you are a pig farmer. You’re dropped into this boring life and eventually find the path to warrior-dom. That’s not the cool part. The cool part is the how you can make the choice to be dick in a genre full of do-gooders. For instance, a neighbor is out looking for her pet duck. When you find it, you can yell at it to make it go home…or, you can kill it. Later on in the game, you get the option to tell a local girl that you killed it. Then you watch her freak out and run away in fear.

Your mom dies (totally not your fault…) and you go to live with your aunt and abusive uncle. If you try to stop the abuse, you get killed. If you learn how to exploit a little glitch, and kill him, well then you end up in charge, making passes at your aunt. I know this sounds creepy, but in the context of the gamme, and directly compared with games like Zelda, it’s pretty funny. (I just noticed all the funny stuff in this game involves killing.

In most games like this, you end up hitting bookcases and the like while looking for hidden items. In this game, if you try that, Dink will shout things such as “Stupid bookcases”. The coolness wears off fast, but it is a nice touch. I don’t want to give much more away. Seriously, if you like dark humor, killing ducks and using magic, Dink Smallwood is the game for you.

(BTW, I almost forgot, there are a lot of other “episodes” after you complete the game, lots of people have made their own stories and some of them are pretty good.)