Thursday, May 21, 2009

Coolest game ever!!!!!

Hey kids, do you like cool adventure games like Legend of Zelda and Diablo? Do you like comedy? You should check out Dink Smallwood.

Dink Smallwood is an old freeware game (actually it's been open sourced). The graphics are outdated, but the humor more than makes up for it.

Let me set this up for you. You, Dink Smallwood, desperately want to be a hero. Unfortunately, you are a pig farmer. You're dropped into this boring life and eventually find the path to warrior-dom. That's not the cool part. The cool part is the how you can make the choice to be dick in a genre full of do-gooders. For instance, a neighbor is out looking for her pet duck. When you find it, you can yell at it to make it go home...or, you can kill it. Later on in the game, you get the option to tell a local girl that you killed it. Then you watch her freak out and run away in fear.

Your mom dies (totally not your fault...) and you go to live with your aunt and abusive uncle. If you try to stop the abuse, you get killed. If you learn how to exploit a little glitch, and kill him, well then you end up in charge, making passes at your aunt. I know this sounds creepy, but in the context of the gamme, and directly compared with games like Zelda, it's pretty funny. (I just noticed all the funny stuff in this game involves killing.

In most games like this, you end up hitting bookcases and the like while looking for hidden items. In this game, if you try that, Dink will shout things such as "Stupid bookcases". The coolness wears off fast, but it is a nice touch. I don't want to give much more away. Seriously, if you like dark humor, killing ducks and using magic, Dink Smallwood is the game for you.

(BTW, I almost forgot, there are a lot of other "episodes" after you complete the game, lots of people have made their own stories and some of them are pretty good.)

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